(Part 2) While I was sick and not able to get out of bed, I listened to hours of sermons from a church back in the States. I have known the pastor and his wife there for quite some time now and I am so blessed and thankful for their influence in my life. In one of his sermons, he talked about me and read an excerpt from my blog about when I first came to Thailand. It became such a defining moment for me. Nothing like God using your own words to speak to you… He was reminding me of the vision He once gave me and the wild fire He has placed in my heart. It was like in that moment He was blowing on my dwindled embers and reigniting the reckless fire within... "So, allow me to dream big for a second: I want lost souls to find Him; I want evil-doers to turn from their ways and be warriors for His cause; I want women and children to no longer live in fear, but find restoration in His arms; I want a new wave of hope to sweep across Thailand and all the surrounding nations; I want an undeniable joy to fill the hearts of the broken and hurting; I want us to be a people of love that is a catalyst for undeniable impact!... This may seem like a big dream, but I serve a BIG God who is more than capable! My prayer would be that we are all willing to see His big dreams outside our box and step out in faith to bring them to fullness. And I cannot wait to see this masterpiece unfold!" Sometimes BIG things start off SMALL... We often want to be the ones gathering the harvest, after all, what an exciting time to see the fruits of our labor and know your efforts have not been in vain. However, we forget that without planting the seeds and watering the small sprouts daily, there would never be a harvest to begin with! I have found that much of my work here is about planting the seeds and watering the sprouts and that it can be quite discouraging when you have just finished preparing the soil with the seeds, when a huge wind storm blows through your field and tears all the seeds out... A girl receiving help returns to the bars, a girl making great progress is persuaded into going back to her abusive boyfriend, a girl receives pressure from her family and ends up selling her child to pay off their debt... "Lord, why am I doing this?? Is my little light even being seen in this darkness??" I look at the devastated field with disappointment... but God then directs my attention to the many seeds that survived the storm... I am thankful that He has been reminding me of the work He is doing and that He is not done yet. It has given me great hope and encouragement in being able to see a small part of the harvest. So, let me give you some snapshots of these beautiful moments...
*We have a mom at HOS who used to be in our program, but ran back to the bars. She ended up getting pregnant a second time and asked to come back to HOS. With love, we welcomed her back. She didn't want to keep her baby and even contemplated abortion at one point. After much counseling, she decided to at least go through with adoption. However, through MUCH prayer, love, counseling, and support, the day after her son was born she decided to keep him and raise him herself. It was such a celebratory moment! What makes this story even more powerful was that she had no paperwork (she had no ID card and didn't even know when she was born) so she could not receive government support for her hospital bills. It ended up costing around $1,300 USD, which might not seem like much, but for a poor Thai this is about 6 months of salary... Through much prayer, not only did an organization from the hospital pay her bill, but they helped her get the right paperwork (another $550 USD) so she could have an ID card and so that her son could have the right certificates/documents as well! Praise God!!
The stories of all the things God is doing could be quite extensive, so for the sake of time, I'll leave on this note: My lack of words and sickness has been a blessing in disguise in that I have had to rely so much more on His words and Him moving through me. It has drawn me closer to listening for His Words, given me a deep yearning to be present with Him, and a new desire to move when and where He leads. I am so thankful for the ways He is planting seeds despite my weaknesses and I am looking forward to the harvest... ~Current jam sesh: Jeremy Camp “Reign in me”~
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After being silent for almost three months, it's hard to fill that time with words... I have found myself speechless on many fronts; and not in an awe-inspiring kind of way, but rather in an overwhelming silence where I find words to be insufficient... -- So, hold tight with me as I try to spit it out.-- The last time you heard from me, I celebrated my one year anniversary and was in the middle of housesitting. This was a great time of blessing as I did not have to pay rent for 6 months and was able to bless people in other ways. It was amazing to see God providing for people as He always does for me, and I loved that He allowed me to be a part of it. Three of those months, I housesat with my roommate and good friend, Lana. She had many guests from back home come and stay with us and it was a great time to meet new people, encourage one another, and share a bit of our lives together. Needless to say, there was never a dull moment! In the middle of all the rush, my family for a late Birthday/early Christmas gift, gave life to a childhood dream of mine to go to Australia!! I had such an incredible time! I was able to stay with some amazing "mates," who have become like family to me. They were such phenomenal hosts and tour guides, giving me a glimpse of their Aussie life, a taste of Aussie cuisine, and a snapshot of all the beautiful sights AUS has to offer. I'm not gonna lie, I wouldn't totally be opposed to living there someday... ;) I was also able to speak at an event on behalf of HOS to raise awareness/support for the work we are doing in the lives of our girls. It was so great to be able to share about our ministry and to know that people all over the world (regardless of their beliefs) want to come along side of us and help make a difference! It was also a refreshing time for me to take a break from work, relax, reconnect with friends, explore another slice of God’s majestic creation, and to come back rejuvenated! Thank you Lord! After being separated from my family in Chiang Mai for 2 weeks, I was glad to be 'home.' However, no time for adjusting as Lana and I had to find a house before our housesitting days were up. What we thought was going to be a long and grueling process, ended up being a quick and exciting discovery of a humble little abode in a Thai neighborhood that fit our criteria. The house was a bit of a 'fixer upper,' but we loved it! It is also in a great location for us, as it is close to both of our ministries, church, and nearby markets. Our landlord is such a sweet woman and has given us permission to do whatever we would like with the house to fix it up. Her 81-year-old mother in-law (we call her Grandma), who lives kiddy-corner from us, keeps an eye on us and has been taking good care of us - making sure we water our dying plants, reminding us to take the trash out every Thursday, taking us to get gas for our stove, etc. She is a little firecracker and we love her. Also, with the rent being cheaper than we budgeted for, we have had some extra money to not only put into repairs/painting, but to be able to invest in our community in different ways. We have seen God's hand in this process and we are very grateful! And for the first time since being in Thailand, I feel settled and at home! It's definitely a refreshing feeling. We are excited for this to be a place full of joy, refuge, rest, encouragement, and can be used to bless many! Oh, I forgot to mention that 3 days after we moved into our house, my parents came to visit me for two weeks!!! Don't worry, we at least had a mattress for them to sleep on. ;) It was such a blessing to have them experience a piece of my world here - my work, my family, my friends, my house, my community, my home... It was definitely a different dynamic (as they were dependent on me, HA!), but it was nice to know some things never change. :) Lots of jokes - laughter, blessings, jokes - more laughter, encouragement, oh, and some more jokes and laughter. ;) I cherished every moment of it! Of course I took them to go do touristy thing ~ a great excuse for me to do them as well. ;) Looking back, it was hard to have a piece of home so close and for it to be taken away so quickly..., but I am extremely grateful they were able to come and for the lasting memories we will share! <3 A week after my parents left, I headed south to Bangkok to see my friend Natalie for a few days!! It's crazy we live in the same country, yet it has taken us almost a year to get together. It was SO great and refreshing to get to see her and experience a piece of her life (and not to mention a spontaneous day trip to the beach!). Same country, yet two totally different worlds!... Her roommate and community were so accepting and loving towards me that it continues to remind me, there truly is family and community wherever you open your heart. All of this ^ ^ ^ taking place while trying to keep up with work, communicating with people overseas, and my own personal/social life... It's no wonder my body finally said enough is enough and decided to shut down on me. For the past two weeks, I have been pretty sick... For about a week I tried to 'suck it up' and fight through it.... BAD idea! - Will I ever learn?! I have now found myself stuck in bed for the last few days. The first day I was rather annoyed, but I have come to see it as quite a blessing... Allow me to explain,
I'll admit, with SO many things vying for my attention, God has not been my priority. I can sit here and make hundreds of excuses as to why, but all of them fall short and don't align with the Truth He has already given to me. I have tried to be so 'present' in all that I am doing, yet I've neglected the One that I should be ever-present with. I feel Him beckoning me, but I have allowed the chaos to pull me away. He gave me a dream one night: A young princess enters a ball with the attention of the whole room. Her eyes wandered the room until they found her Father's, where her heart was elated. She was looking forward to dancing with Him... but before she had a chance, all the young men were asking her to dance. With a caring heart and burdened by pressures, she obliges. Hours pass, as she is greeted by more invitations. With a weary and longing heart, her eyes find her Father's in the distance... His eyes say it all, "I love you, and I will wait ALL night if I have to..." *Sigh* He loves me so deeply and is so patient with me... I wish it wouldn't take me crippling sicknesses to slow me down and to curl up into my Father's arms. It is so easy to be swept away by all the needs here and to be burdened by all the expectations that people have, but nothing comes close to the importance of my time with the One who gives me Life. Matthew 16:26 comes to mind, "For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul?.." How often I can find myself doing things for God, yet they supersede my time with God. This passage has hit me; that no matter how 'noble' or 'Godly' the things I chase are, if they are void of God and my life is not filled with Him, it will be of no value. I am so thankful that during this time He has been working in me; and in spite of anything I have done, He is working through me. It has been a great time of reflection to look back and see all that He has done... (Blog - Part B coming soon. Hopefully..) |
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May 2015
Support:If you would like to financially support me or HOS, you can go online and give:
https://www.egsnetwork.com/gift/gift.php?giftid=535530DBD93C42E OR, you can send a check (with Shannon Halloran on the memo line) to: CORD Ministries International P.O. Box 102 Wheaton, IL 60187-0102 * All Tax deductible gift* Questions: Director of CORD Ministries Michael Ullrich (303)-994-4754 [email protected] Links:Family Connection Foundation:
http://www.thaiconnections.org/ Home of the Swallow: http://www.thaiconnections.org/fcf/home-of-the-swallow Cord Ministries International: http://cordmin.com/wp/ |