Well, it has officially been a year since I got on a jet plane, left the only homeland I've ever known, and arrived in this foreign country called Thailand. It has been a roller coaster of a year filled with wonder, transitions, many struggles, joy, blessings, and lots of love. I am so grateful for the experiences and the people that God has brought into my life. I have been asked several times, "What has been your favorite and hardest thing about this last year?" But I find myself not being able to answer this question in just a few short sentences, because an elapsed time video plays through my head of all that has happened. {*Video hopefully coming soon - stay tuned.} I wish my heart could paint the picture for you, but instead, I'll try to use some words: Stepping outside of my normality, I love not only getting to see how others live their lives, but that I get to be a part of it and begin to understand why they live the way they do. For example, much of the culture here is day by day; you go to the market and buy the ingredients or food you need for that day's meal(s), you make yourself available for the current tasks at hand, you give the people present in your life your attention, and you don't worry about tomorrow until it comes around. This can take some getting used to, especially when you come from a world of schedules and 'preparedness,' but it has been a quality of Thai culture that I truly value. The here and now becomes your focus and the people present in your life become the priority. It's a great reminder of Matthew 6:25-34 and how we should not be worrying about tomorrow, for today is already enough. Eating "Family Style!" You have your own plate of rice, but share the main dishes with those around you. You may be thinking that's a germ playground, and you may be right; however, it creates an amazing new atmosphere around eating and 'communing' together. You lose sight of possessions and cultivate an attitude of sharing. You have to eat anyway, so you might as well make it a joyous occasion, right? Speaking of which, Thai culture is all about eating! So much so that when they greet you, they will ask if you have eaten before they even ask you how you are doing. No matter how poor or what the occasion may be, you can be sure that food will be a part of the festivities. When you go to someone's house, it is usually customary to bring some kind of food to share, and if you have something to eat, it is polite to offer it. So don't worry mom, I'll never starve here, but I may be overweight the next time you see me... ;) Going off this same concept, Thailand is one of the most hospitable places I've been to thus far. Sure there may be some Buddhist beliefs tied into the reasons, but nonetheless, it has given me "a run for my money." Always offering water to guests when they come in, making sure they have eaten, letting you go in front of them in traffic (usually), offering to help you in any way possible - just to name a few. I even have to be careful at times to not say I like something or they may give it to me!... When it comes to making Thai life my normal, it comes with a fair share of struggles. The number one thing would definitely be missing family and loved ones... When you're on the other side of the world, it's easy to feel forgotten or that you're missing out on all of the amazing moments taking place in people's lives. Or even all of the amazing moments taking place here that you wish your loved ones were able to experience with you. If "home is where the heart is," I must have more than one 'home'... Another big struggle has been trying to let go of the stress/control of money. To already be in a place of such vulnerability (living in foreign systems/infrastructure) and then to have no way to tangibly provide for yourself... it's not the easiest cup of tea to sip. God has been ever faithful and has never given me a reason to not trust Him, but it's crazy how slyly doubt can sneak in when enough people around you are stressing about their own financial crunch. The last thing I'll mention (that not many people are willing to admit) is, to not feel guilty for having fun or for taking breaks/retreats when needed. Like that moment when you want to share a really cool experience with people back 'home,' but you feel guilty for having fun or wonder how people are going to judge you 'for not doing real missionary work'... Life overseas can become a 24/7 job if you aren't careful to set boundaries. There are ALWAYS needs, and if you feel like you can't stop or rest until those needs are met, weeellll.... you might as well not sleep for the rest of your life. I have found life here to be naturally more exhausting, especially when I don't take the time to have a Sabbath, recharge with God, and get away from time to time. Many long term missionaries have told me that if I see myself in it for the "long-haul" and I don't want to "burn-out," it's important to take breaks (even a vacation) and to not feel guilty about it... working on it... So, I guess if I had to summarize this last year into two sentences, it would be: I have loved making another culture/country my 'home' and my 'normal.' It has been far from perfect or even glamorous, but every tear, frustration, and challenge has been so worth it! On a less serious note, as I have pondered this last year, there have been a few things that have stood out to me in my 'home' transition: - I used to be amazed at how many food carts lined the streets, but now I can't imagine my life here without being able to get food while walking down the street. - I used to laugh at the fact that you pay all of your bills at 7-11 (I'm not joking) and that you could find 10 of them within a 5 mile stretch, but now I often think "where is a 7-11 when you need one?! Why are there not more of them??" - I used to wonder why there were so many motorbikes everywhere, until I filled my car with gas ($!!), tried to park somewhere, and was stuck in traffic for 30 minutes only to have moved 500 yards... I get it now! - I used to be stoked that so many things were inexpensive (like a meal only costing $1.00-2.00), but now, if a shirt costs more than $8.00... forget it! - I used to be hesitant if there were bugs in my food, but now, eh. Just mix them on in. Extra 'protein' right?... Thailand has gone from a foreign land to a place I now call "home." These last two months, Home of the Swallow has had many volunteers come and help our women and children in many ways: trauma healing classes, HIV awareness and training, health check-ups, learning about inner beauty, Bible studies, etc. It has been a great time of encouragement and growth for the women and I am looking forward to see how God is going to continue to shape their lives. I joined a Photo Club and have been having a blast learning more about photography and how to use my camera, all while exploring this beautiful country I live in! :D Looking forward to the journey ahead...
1 Comment
queen momma
10/13/2014 05:05:00 am
I love the picture of my "angel baby".
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May 2015
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