Officially back to the land of all things Thai after two months of being in the land of all things West; and within 3 days I found myself locked out of my house, already having to use my car horn more than 15 times, soaked from the pouring rain, went to the hospital (not for me), had a power outage, a stinky sewage tank overflow, killed 2 bugs, 2 spiders & an ant invasion, and then was stuck in bed for two days straight with some kind of stomach bug... Welcome home!! Hahaha! Seriously though, it really is good to be back and into the fire and unpredictability that is my life here.
So to recap everything since I last wrote... I spent the last two months in the U.S. on home assignment to see loved ones, continue fundraising for myself and the amazing ministry I am a part of, and to brag on God in all the mind-blowing things He is doing. While it was quite the struggle to feel so out of place in a land that once felt so normal to me, I was SO blessed and grateful to be able to spend some quality time with so many amazing people and be able to create lasting memories and reminisce the old ones together as well. It was an encouraging time to remember that I am not alone and that there are people that still care about me and are praying for me too. I was also SO thankful to be able to share in some special life events with some of my loved ones, especially welcoming my first baby nephew into the world! What a special bundle of joy he is! And, just like any other season of my life, God always has something to teach me and grow me in. This time, He opened my eyes and put a burden on my heart to see of the deadness around me, where His presence was lacking. It's hard to explain, but I began to find my time amidst the mundane very uncomfortable. I guess coming from a place where every day is a spiritual battle in which you need the Lord more and more, the preciousness of God's word is not taken lightly, conversations with fellow believers are a cherished opportunity to sharpen each other's swords, and the hope and peace of God's presence is what gets you through each day; it's quite the change to then slip into a place of comfort and complacency where God seems to be put on the back burner until needed. It seemed to be a tough pill to swallow at first, but just like any new medication, your body soon adjusts... The day-to-day life, the schedules, the check-lists, the appointments, etc. begin to take over and all too soon become the focus and drive of our lives that seems to keep God at a distance. It's an easy trap to fall into, and one I quickly found myself in as well. Then one night, while talking to a friend about Thailand, I was reminded that God called me to a life of fire so that I might never grow warm. I know He has called me to Thailand to reach the Thai people, but I am also aware that the work He wants to do in me is just as important. I believe God does not want His children to be miserable or have lives void of happiness, but I also know that God's desire and priority for our hearts is to experience His fullness, and sometimes that requires a lot of refining flames. However, once we experience more of His fullness, the peace, blessings and JOY that come with it are far more than anything this world could satisfy... So, although quite exhausting at times, God has shown me in some powerful ways that I would rather walk through the fires of hell for the rest of my life with Him by my side, than to dance in a field of dandelions void of His presence... You might be thinking that it is easier said than done, and I would absolutely agree with you. A. Daily. Battle. And in the not so ironic way, God has since blessed me with many opportunities to be tried by the fire to see if my heart is really grasping this truth for my life... and I think I have found myself saying "Consider it all joy my brothers and sisters, when you encounter trials of many kinds..." (James 1:2) about 20 times in the last week!... (HA) But believe it or not, I have actually found myself smiling and laughing so much during these trials and experiencing a lot of peace! Sometimes I think it's because I'm a bit of a nut (which is true in a lot of cases), but I'd like to believe it's because I am experiencing more of His presence and learning more of His fullness as He refines me through the flames. I've always come to find that the biggest areas of growth in my life and faith were during seasons of great struggles. So, as I step into this new chapter of my time here in Thailand, and even knowing the significance of what this means; I would so rather live a life plagued with trials and struggles if it means that I get to experience more of His fullness and joy... What about you?...
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