As the sun beat down on her, she could feel her body weakening within her. Thirst. Exhaustion. Despair. Almost ready to give up, she heard a faint sound arising in the distance. She made her way through the trees. With every step she took, the sound grew louder, until she was standing at the waters edges. Overcome with relief, she fell to her knees by the river and scooped the crystal clear water into her hands and took a drink. Crisp. Gentle. Sweet. Satisfying...
Do you ever feel like when God is trying to get your attention and teach you something, He has to show you about 10 different times and keeps asking you, "Get it yet? How about like this? No? What about like this?" Without exaggerating, the theme of water and rivers presented itself to me more than 20 times within three days. God had definitely gotten my attention!
What it all boiled down to was, PEACE. The storms around me were definitely raging, and although being in the boat with Jesus, the last thing I was feeling was His peace... If I were to be one of the disciples, I would have been the one getting repeatedly splashed in the face and holding onto the side of the boat begging for the waves to stop. Rather than trusting the Lord to lead me through the storms, I was clinching onto the boat as if it was going to give me some sort of peace. Coming back to Thailand, I was greeted with a heavy wave of turmoil; peace in knowing this is where God wants me to be, yet dread with the thought of the exhausting daily demands. I had come to see that I had been surviving and not thriving, and I knew something needed to change if I was going to be able to walk on the path God had called me to. So God, being the loving patient Father that He is, lead me to a place of His Truth. Here are some the things He showed me: If I am trusting in God and walking along side of Him, peace should not be an infrequent surprise in my life, but rather a continual presence (2 Thess 3:16). It cannot be something I produce, but simply comes from the fruit of His Spirit taking root in me. So why was peace not bearing fruit in my life? I often find myself in many hard situations here on the 'field' where certain decisions need to be made or actions need to occur, and they need to be done so quickly. And waiting on God's timing, for Him to lead you, can feel like waiting for someone to figure out the directions on the map when you have about 10 seconds to decide if you need to turn right or go left. So, what ends up happening?... You just make a quick decision and hope it was the right one. However, we often forget we have one more option - pull over to the side of the road and look at the map again... And with such big decisions, it is even more crucial that I take the time to stop and be sure that I am following His directions. However, I had found myself bound by the pressures of the overwhelming needs and taking the driver seat as if I was going to lead them to the right destinations. He once again led me to a place of surrender. However, not just surrendering the situations around me, but surrendering to His Authority and His ways (trusting in Him - Isa. 43:2-3). This surrender to His Authority is not just something that will come naturally, but rather something we have to choose to submit to out of belief and obedience rather than emotions. And when we find ourselves trusting in His Authority, peace, like a river, is able to flow (Isa. 48:17-18). Though I have heard this many times, the symbolism of this really captured me. Rivers are very active and continually flowing, and they can do so because they come from a well-spring that provides them with all their water. So like a river, our peace can continually be renewed and flow freely, if we are abiding in Christ, the source of our Living Water. And in order to abide in Christ, we need to come before Him, quiet our souls, listen, and obey. So, the ultimate test is that when I am not feeling at peace, what areas of my life am I not trusting God to go before me and provide the way? I know that this peace does not mean the promise of a smooth and gentle ride, but simply that security and tranquility will accompany me for the journey. * The path to peace is paved with knee prints.
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November 2015
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